Abandonment by Hashem as a Catalyst for Teshuvah
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Artwork: Forsaken Monument, by Piotr Dura
Abandonment by Hashem as a Catalyst for Teshuvah
The Torah states: “When you are in distress and all these things have befallen you, at the end of days, you will return to Hashem, your God, and hearken to His voice” (Devarim 4:30). Last summer I wrote a 1-page article entitled The Necessity of Metaphysical Trauma for National Teshuvah. I offered a theory which explained why this type of radical national teshuvah-transformation can only come about after a radical national catastrophe. However, I did not explain why or how such a tragedy would actually prompt us to engage in teshuvah instead of continuing to cling to our waywardness.
I used to think that a calamity of this scale would cause us to return to Hashem because it would force us to finally acknowledge His role in the tzarah (catastrophe), as the Rambam writes about in Hilchos Taaniyos 1:1-3:
This principle is one of the darchei teshuvah (ways of repentance), that at the onset of a tzarah, when the [people] cry out about it and sound the trumpets, everyone will know that it was because of their evil conduct that they were harmed … But if they do not cry out and do not sound the trumpets, but instead say, “This is a natural event which befell us” and “this tzarah is a chance occurrence” – behold, this is a derech achzarius (way of cruelty, or indifference) and will cause them to cling to their evil conduct, and [this] tzarah and others will increase.
I have a new theory, inspired by my recent rereading of The Lincoln Highway (2021), by Amor Towles. One of my many favorite scenes (no spoilers!) is when Ulysses explains to Billy what happens to a person when they are in truly dire straits:
If I learned anything in the war, it’s that the point of utter abandonment – that moment at which you realize no one will be coming to your aid, not even your Maker – is the very moment in which you may discover the strength required to carry on. The Good Lord does not call you to your feet with hymns from the cherubim and Gabriel blowing his horn. He calls you to your feet by making you feel alone and forgotten. For only when you have seen that you are truly forsaken will you embrace the fact that what happens next rests in your hands, and your hands alone. (p.330)
My new theory is as follows: it is not our recognition of Hashem’s role in the tzarah which will be the catalyst for our teshuvah. Rather, it is the feeling of utter abandonment by Hashem which will cause us to recognize our role in the tzarah. So long as we stubbornly refuse to acknowledge our own agency, whether by blaming the nations and circumstances around us or by childishly waiting for Hashem to intervene without any change on our part, we will not engage in teshuvah. Only when we accept that our fate is in our own hands will we save ourselves by doing teshuvah and returning to Hashem.
Here's another way of stating this insight. Chazal teach: “Everything is in the hands of heaven except for fear of heaven” (Berachos 33b). Rambam explains that “fear of heaven” in this context is a reference to free will (Shemoneh Perakim Ch8). I used to think that the teshuvah in Devarim 4:30 would be brought about by a recognition of the truth in the first half of Chazal’s statement: that everything – that is, all the calamities that befall the Jewish people – is in the hands of heaven. I am now suggesting that the teshuvah will be prompted by a realization of the truth in the second half of Chazal’s statement: that we, and we alone, are to blame for our suffering. Hashem will not do teshuvah for us.
Like most insights into teshuvah, this one was already been stated explicitly by the Rambam (Hilchos Teshuvah 5:2)
Yirmiyahu says: "The evils and the good do not come from the mouth of the Most High" (Eichah 3:38) - in other words, the Creator does not decree upon man to be good or evil. Since this is the case, the sinner is the one who harmed himself. Therefore, it is proper to bewail and lament the harm he caused to his own soul. This is what is written afterwards: "About what may a living man complain? A man about his own sins" (ibid. 3:39). [Yirmiyahu] then goes back and says: since we have control over our actions, and our own minds caused us to do all evils, it is proper for us to do teshuvah and to abandon our wickedness, for the agency is in our hands now. This is what is written afterwards: "Let us examine our ways and investigate and return to Hashem" (ibid. 3:40).
The Good Lord calls us to our feet by making us feel alone and forgotten so that we return to Him.
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