How to Choose What to Learn Before You Die
This is an experimental method for navigating that narrow path of having meaningful goals for the future while living with the awareness of one's own mortality. I hope you find this to be useful.
This week's Torah content has been sponsored by Joey and Estee Lichter in honor of the marriage of Isaac and Aviva.
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Disclaimer: this article is not intended for those who are in the “training” stages of their learning (e.g. students who are still in high school, yeshiva, or seminary and are still acquiring their skills and knowledge base); rather, it is for those who have already developed a relationship with learning, but find themselves in the trenches of adulthood and are struggling with their life/learning balance, or are having difficulty choosing what to learn in their limited time.
How to Choose What to Learn Before You Die
I’d like to recap a conversation my chavrusa and I had this past Sunday about learning. He knew I had recently read Greg McKeown’s Essentialism: the Disciplined Pursuit of Less and was curious about how I intend to apply Essentialist principles to my learning. He expressed his own frustration with having so many things he wanted to learn but not enough time in the week to learn it all.
I suggested the following thought experiment: “Imagine that this will be the last week of your life. You have Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, and you will die at the end of Shabbos. What are you going to learn, with whom are you going to learn it, and how are you going to learn it?” My chavrusa was intrigued by the question and started answering. When he gave me specific answers (“I want to continue learning Mishlei with my sister”) I affirmed them, but when he gave vague answers (“I want to learn areas in Tanach that have an impact on my life”) I demanded specificity (“Tell me specifically which topic or text you are going to take up, and on which days this week, and with which chavrusa?”).
I recommend that you, my dear reader, give this a try. The goal of this exercise is not to extrapolate a personal curriculum directly from the answers given. There are many more factors to be taken into account. The goal is three-fold: (1) to differentiate between learning you love and learning you don’t, (2) to identify the reasons (or non-reasons) why you are currently learning what you are currently learning, and (3) to understand why you aren’t learning what you actually want to be learning, so that you can figure out what definite steps you need to take in order to start.
An example of (1) and (2) emerged when I examined my own schedule. Thank God, I am currently learning almost everything I want to learn as part of my weekly teaching schedule in yeshiva. I was pleased to discover that if any given week were my very last, I would keep my schedule exactly as it is … except for my Wednesday night Chumash Methodology shiur. I realized that although I was excited about this shiur at the beginning of the year, my excitement faded as the year went on. Habit and momentum were the only reason I kept it going. This realization solidified my decision to jettison the shiur and replace it with something I am passionate about for this coming year.
An example of (3) emerged when my chavrusa said that he really wanted to be in a regular Gemara iyun shiur that he prepared for with a chavrusa. When I asked him, “What is preventing you from doing that right now?” he gave me a clear answer and was able to identify the steps that were necessary to make that happen. But if he hadn’t been able to do that, then this exercise would have prompted him to do so.
The Rambam writes: “Until when is a person obligated to learn Torah? Until the day of his death” (Hilchos Talmud Toah 1:11). He doesn’t raise this question for other mitzvos. Unlike krias shema, tefillin, mezuzah, and the other mitzvos which are observed for the duration of one’s life, learning Torah is a lifelong project. The question of what to learn during our remaining days should be periodically asked and answered with this perspective in mind. However, since we don’t know when we’re going to die, and since it’s so easy to fall into learning habits and routines for months or even years without realizing it, a simple reminder of our own mortality might be enough to snap us out of the trance and reconnect us with our love of learning.
If you try this, please let me know how it turns out!
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