On Being Present in Tefilah

This week's Torah content has been sponsored by Joey and Estee Lichter in honor of the marriage of Isaac and Aviva.

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Artwork: Counterspell, by Olena Richards

On Being Present in Tefilah

Let go of what has passed.Let go of what may come.Let go of what is happening now.Don’t try to figure anything out.Don’t try to make anything happen.Relax, right now, and rest.
The early Sages would pause for a full hour before davening in order to have proper kavanah in tefilah (Mishnah Berachos 5:1). The Rambam (ad loc.) explains that they would pause “so that their [inner] conversation and thoughts would cease.” In other words, they did not use this hour to fill their minds with specific ideas in preparation for tefilah, but to empty their minds, in order that they may be refilled through their engagement in tefilah.
Earlier this year I conducted a radical tefilah experiment in which I sat with my eyes closed doing absolutely nothing for a full hour right before davening. I did this for three consecutive days. The results were remarkable. For the first half hour or so, my mind was a loud and chaotic traffic jam. Thoughts and feelings were honking their horns and yelling for attention. My inner productivity taskmaster strained against its seat belt, refusing to be still and wait. My inner skeptic berated me for wasting time. But eventually, these inner voices quieted down, and my mind settled into tranquility. And when I davened, I had better kavanah than ever before. Why? Because all the thoughts that would have distracted me during davening were allowed free reign to do and say whatever they wanted before davening!
I don’t have time to sit for a full hour before davening every day. Instead, I’ve been experimenting with a scaled down version: doing a guided meditation for 15-25 minutes before shacharis every morning and striving to continue that presence into tefilah. This week I’ve chosen Tara Brach’s Letting Go and Letting Be. It begins by focusing on the breath, continues with a body scan, and culminates in a reflection on the six-line teaching cited at the beginning of this article.
I was recently asked by a fellow Jewish educator: “Mindfulness practices are about being present. How does that jive with a religion that teaches: ‘Who is wise? One who sees the future?' (Tamid 32a).” I answered that worrying, stressing out, and having anxiety about the future is not the same thing as seeing the future. Obsessing over the “virtual reality” in my head isn’t the same thing as living in reality. By focusing on the present, these mindfulness practices uncloud my mind of the thoughts and feelings which warp and obscure my ability to see the future clearly.
Tefilah requires the same clarity and presence. The types of thoughts and feelings which interfere with my kavanah – planning, rehearsing, fretting, fearing, doubting – all stem from my egoic preoccupation with the future. When my head is stuck in the future, I can’t be present enough to engage in mindful shevach (praise), bakashah (request), and hodaah (thanks) in the present. Chazal teach that ego and God cannot dwell together in the same world (Sotah 5a). As long as my ego continually asserts itself in its efforts to control its future, then I am incapable of standing before Hashem in tefilah. By pausing and letting go before tefilah, I can be present in tefilah. I can say “hineini” (here I am).
Let go of what has passed.Let go of what may come.Let go of what is happening now.Don’t try to figure anything out.Don’t try to make anything happen.Relax, right now, and rest.________________________________________________________________________________If you've gained from what you've learned here, please consider contributing to my Patreon at www.patreon.com/rabbischneeweiss. Alternatively, if you would like to make a direct contribution to the "Rabbi Schneeweiss Torah Content Fund," my Venmo is @Matt-Schneeweiss, and my Zelle and PayPal are mattschneeweiss at gmail.com. Even a small contribution goes a long way to covering the costs of my podcasts, and will provide me with the financial freedom to produce even more Torah content for you. 
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