Vayetzei: Yaakov’s (Scandalous?) Kiss (?)

How, exactly, did Yaakov kiss Rachel? This article explores the full spectrum of interpretations—from Ibn Kaspi to the Hasidic masters—through the lenses of methodology and sociology.

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Vayetzei: Yaakov’s (Scandalous?) Kiss (?)

Yaakov Avinu’s first interaction with Rachel is unusual, to say the least:

While [Yaakov] was still speaking with [the shepherds], Rachel came with the sheep, as she was a shepherdess. When Yaakov saw Rachel, the daughter of Lavan, his mother's brother … Yaakov kissed Rachel and raised his voice and wept. Yaakov told Rachel that he was a relative of her father and that he was Rivka's son, and she ran and told her father … Rachel was shapely and beautiful,⁠ and Yaakov loved Rachel. (Bereishis 29:9-17)

R’ Yosef Ibn Kaspi (1280-1345), a lesser-known Provençal Rishon (medieval commentator), is renowned for his hardcore Aristotelianism, Maimonideanism, and rationalism. His commentary often includes what we might describe as “hot takes,” delivered in a tone that could be called “snarky.” His explanation of Yaakov’s kiss (ibid. 29:11) exemplifies this style:

I have seen “this people murmuring” (cf. Bamidbar 11:1) against Yaakov for engaging in this pritzus (licentiousness). [This is] especially [true] of the chasidim (devout) and zekeinim (elders) of our nation. As God lives, [I swear that] I am not troubled by this verse. However, I will state along with this that it was not the custom of the land to kiss on the mouth or on the cheek. Chalilah lo v’lanu (Heaven forbid for him and for us) that [this kiss] was on the mouth—Rachmana litzlan (God save us)! And if, chas v’shalom (Heaven forfend), Yaakov did [kiss Rachel on the mouth], what can we do? The moshiach (anointed one) of the God of Yaakov did something even bolder than this, and “there is much pardon with Him” (Tehilim 130:7), exalted and blessed is He.

Ibn Kaspi’s remarks suggest that some “chasidim and zekeinim of our nation” found Yaakov’s kiss scandalous. The question remains: Who is he talking about, and what exactly was their objection?

The most likely source is Midrash Tanchuma (ibid., cited in Bereishis Rabbah 70:11), which states: “Every kiss is for licentiousness except for three: a kiss of greatness, a kiss of reunion, and a kiss of parting.” The midrash provides examples of these three categories, and notably, Yaakov’s kiss is conspicuously absent, suggesting it might be viewed as pritzus. Only later does the midrash quote R’ Tanchuma, who adds: “Also a kiss of kinship [is not for licentiousness,] as it is stated, ‘Yaakov kissed Rachel,’ for she was his relative.”

Perhaps Ibn Kaspi was referring to other Rishonim, like Ramban (Bereishis 29:9), who wrote:

Avraham’s family [of whom Rachel was a member] was proper and modest … This is the sense of the verse, “Yaakov kissed Rachel.” It may be as Rabbi Abraham ibn Ezra (Shir ha’Shirim 1:2) said, that [where the Hebrew word for] kissing [is followed by the letter] lamed [as here: “va’yishak Yaakov le’Rachel” instead of “va’yishak Yaakov es Rachel”], it means not on the mouth, but that he kissed her on her head or on her shoulder.

Or perhaps Ibn Kaspi had his contemporaries in mind, who offered similar explanations to avoid ascribing impropriety to Yaakov. Rabbeinu Bachya (ibid.) observes: “This kiss was on the head or the shoulder, since the verse doesn’t say that he kissed Rachel on the mouth.” Likewise, Ralbag (ibid. beur ha'parashah 29:11) explains, “Yaakov kissed Rachel on her hand or on her garment and cried, as loved ones and relatives do.”

Several commentators not only emphasize that Yaakov’s kiss was not on the mouth but also praise his conduct as exemplary. Ralbag himself elaborates on the praiseworthiness of Yaakov’s actions, deriving this lesson (toeles #5):

The fifth beneficial lesson [we learn from this section] pertains to middos (character traits), teaching that it is appropriate for every person to draw close to their relatives and show them as much love and closeness as possible. This contributes to the betterment of society in ways that are evident – that is, when family members love one another as though they were all siblings. You see that the highly perfected Yaakov, despite his advanced age, kissed Rachel to show her extraordinary closeness. This also served to appease her and to win her heart so that she would agree to become his wife, which was his intention.

Regardless of whom Ibn Kaspi had in mind, there is clearly a group of “chasidim in our nation” so scandalized by the idea of Yaakov kissing Rachel that they offer interpretations far removed from the pshat (straightforward meaning of the text). I am referring to the Hasidic masters of the 18^th century. R’ Levi Yitzchok of Berditchev (Kedushas Levi ibid. 29:23) expresses his astonishment at Yaakov’s kiss:

At first glance, it seems astonishing that Yaakov Avinu—the choicest of the patriarchs, about whom the Torah testifies, “Yaakov was a wholesome man” (ibid. 25:27), and who kept the entire Torah, as he himself stated, “I have sojourned with Lavan and kept the 613 commandments” (standard Rashi ibid. 32:5)—would place his focus on beauty. The trait of the righteous is the opposite: “Grace is deceitful, and beauty is vain; a woman who fears Hashem shall be praised” (Mishlei 31:30).

He resolves this by quoting his teacher, Rabbi Dov Ber, the Maggid of Mezritch:

It is known that Yaakov Avinu served Hashem through the attribute of tiferes (beauty). If anything possessed a spark of beauty—even if the vessel was a physical thing—he would elevate that spark of beauty to its source and use it to serve the Creator. This is the meaning of “Yaakov kissed Rachel” and [the reason why the Torah notes that] “Rachel was of beautiful form and beautiful appearance, and Yaakov loved Rachel”—Yaakov saw in Rachel a spark of beauty and elevated it to its supreme source, using it to serve Hashem.

The precise meaning of “elevating Rachel’s spark of beauty” or how the Kedushas Levi interprets Yaakov’s actions remains unclear. Rabbi Elimelech of Lizhensk (Noam Elimelech Beshalach 3:2), is also troubled by Yaakov’s behavior, and offers a similar but more explicit explanation:

The holy forefathers each served God according to their unique spiritual level, as is known—Abraham with chesed (kindness), Yitzchak with gevurah (strength), and Yaakov with tiferes (beauty). Yaakov Avinu served the Creator through his attribute, tiferes. In everything he saw, heard, did, or ate, he would take its beauty [and elevate it] to the Creator. For example, if he ate something delicious, he would reflect: “This food was created. Who placed its good flavor within it? Surely the Creator! And if this food is so flavorful, then how much greater is the source of all goodness and flavor in the Creator, Himself, Who is infinite and boundless!” This is how he contemplated everything.

This understanding clarifies the verse, “Yaakov kissed Rachel.” [On the surface,] this is astonishing—how could Yaakov Avinu act in such a way? Rather, the explanation is as we have written: every good thing that Yaakov encountered led him to greater dveikus (attachment) to God. Here, when he saw Rachel, who was exceedingly beautiful, hidbik atzmo Bo yisbarach al yadah (he attached himself to God, blessed is He, through her), as explained above. This is the meaning of, “Yaakov kissed Rachel,” for dveikus is called “kissing,” [as it represents] the clinging of spirit to spirit. The phrase “le’Rachel” can be understood as “because of Rachel.”

Admittedly, my limited familiarity with the Hasidic masters’ writing style may affect my interpretation. However, based on my reading, it seems that the Noam Elimelech does not regard “Yaakov kissed Rachel” as a literal act. Rather, he interprets this to mean that Yaakov attached himself to God through contemplation of Rachel’s beauty!

Let us return to Ibn Kaspi’s comments and attempt to understand his perspective. He explicitly states that he doesn’t share the concerns of these chasidim: “As God lives, [I swear that] I am not troubled by this verse.” He rejects the idea that Yaakov kissed Rachel on the mouth or the cheek—not because he finds this intrinsically problematic, but because, in his view, this “was not the custom of the land.”

Ibn Kaspi’s next statement—“Heaven forbid for him and for us that [this kiss] was on the mouth, may God save us!”—appears to be written in a sarcastic tone, mocking the chasidim who recoil at the thought of a mouth-to-mouth kiss. This reading is supported by his follow-up: “And if, Heaven forfend, Yaakov did [kiss her on the mouth], what can we do? The moshiach of the God of Yaakov did something even bolder than this”—a reference to David’s sin with Batsheva. Unlike Chazal and many classical commentators who offer far-fetched justifications to soften the severity of David’s sin, Ibn Kaspi (II Shmuel 11:6) holds that David did exactly what the text suggests. He writes:

There is no doubt in my mind that David sinned, for we cannot deny the verse that states, “But the thing that David had done was evil in the eyes of Hashem” (II Shmuel 11:27), and Nosson said to him, “Why have you despised the word of Hashem, to do what is evil in His eyes? You struck Uriah, etc." (ibid. 12:9). In any case, he violated “You shall not murder” and “You shall not commit adultery” (Shemos 20:12). Therefore, he was punished for both, as I will explain further. He also admitted his sin, saying, “I have sinned against Hashem” (II Shmuel 12:13). All the more so since he himself testified to this in his book, dedicating a psalm “when Nosson the prophet came to him after he had gone to Batsheva” (Tehilim 51:2). However, he did not write, "after he killed Uriah." Moreover, the author of Sefer Melachim wrote, “David did what was right in the eyes of Hashem and did not turn aside from anything He commanded him all the days of his life, except in the matter of Uriah the Hittite” (I Melachim 15:5).

Ibn Kaspi’s stance can be summarized as follows: “I personally don’t think Yaakov kissed Rachel on the mouth, but even if he did—and even if this kiss involved pritzus—I don’t find it inconceivable. David ha’Melech engaged in actions far worse than a mere kiss, yet we still regard him as a tzadik and the moshiach Hashem. Get over it!”

I was motivated to write this article for two reasons. The first is methodological. I am endlessly fascinated by the interplay between the pshat and the assumptions we bring to text. This case illustrates the full spectrum: On one end are the Hasidim (and chasidim) who find the mere thought of Yaakov kissing Rachel so objectionable that they (seemingly) reject the literal reading of the verse. On the other end is Ibn Kaspi, who mocks such interpretations and is willing to entertain the possibility that Yaakov kissed Rachel on the mouth because he found her beautiful and was attracted to her. In between are commentators like Ramban and Ralbag who interpret Yaakov’s kiss as chaste and offer plausible justifications for his actions and the lessons we can derive from them.

The second reason I wrote about this is the social or anthropological implications. There is a symbiotic relationship between Biblical exegesis and the values of different Jewish communities. Marc B. Shapiro observes in Changing the Immutable: How Orthodox Judaism Rewrites Its History, p.184:

Throughout history, one of the prime considerations leading to censorship has been the issue of sex, namely, what is and what is not allowed to be shown and said. Since Judaism has a very conservative sexual ethic, Jewish history has also seen its share of censorship in the sexual realm. While it is probably true that the impact of Christian society has had some influence on the development of puritanical attitudes, this is hardly the entire story. Furthermore, the haredi world has developed in such a way that its standards of modesty are far removed from anything that is found even in the most conservative Christian circles.

For example, Israeli haredim have a difficult time in bringing awareness of breast cancer to their communities, because the word “breast” will never appear in their publications. This is the sort of extreme fastidiousness when it comes to language that, as far as I know, has no parallels outside this community.

It is understandable why we might go out of our way to interpret the actions of tzadikim in Tanach favorably. However, those who cannot even entertain the thought of Yaakov kissing Rachel on the mouth risk projecting their own cultural norms onto the text, and in doing so, further entrenching these norms. The challenge is to learn Torah in a way that allows it to shape our values without letting our values distort its meaning.

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I didn’t bother to conceal my disagreement with the approach taken by the Hasidic masters. While I recognize that there is value in their interpretations, I think they’re playing a dangerous game with their forced readings of the text. And even if their remarks are intended to be drash rather than pshat, I question whether their commentaries are read that way. What do you think?

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